Interview Session With Nick Shelton of ConnectedIntrovert.com

Q: Hi Nick! It's a pleasure to interview you. I always wanted to ask a High-Level Social Networking Coach for Introverts to define what they think the word introvert personality means to them?
A: Hi Morissa, thanks for having me! While there are the “official” definitions out there, for me an introvert personality covers a bit more range. To me, it’s a person who enjoys being alone and recharges from the alone time, who also may be shy and/or socially awkward as well.  So, people who aren’t really comfortable navigating in groups or on the social scene.

Q: Can you tell us a little about yourself? What's your story?
A: Sure, I grew up extremely shy and introverted. So much so that when I started a new school in the second grade the teachers thought I was deaf and put me in the hearing impaired kid class. I don’t know why, I guess they didn’t know any better at the time. But it was actually pretty cool. There were only four of us in there and we were learning sign language and becoming good friends quickly.
The fun all ended after about a week into it when my mom found out I was there and explained to the teachers that I was not deaf, I was simply very shy, so they kicked me out of that class and put me back in “general population”. As you can imagine, that sucked. And it was the start of a long battle of social awkwardness and shyness.

In the Middle school and High school, I had trouble fitting in and trouble talking to new people, especially girls. When I got out of high school I figured if I could make some money, it would solve everything. I became a commodity futures trader and was able to make quite a bit of money fairly quickly. But money didn’t help my social situation. I was the same guy, I just had nicer stuff.
Then I tried alcohol which worked a little bit but then you have to be drinking all the time and that comes with its own problems such as getting a reputation as a drunk dude.

I wanted to upgrade my life. I knew I could be better. I was tired of living in the shadows. I was tired of not being seen, heard, invited and included. Most of all I was tired of people underestimating me.
I had to find a way out.
You’ve heard the sayings:
“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”
“Your network is your net-worth”
“You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time around”
Ok so…
Where do you find these 5 people?
When you find them, how do YOU get there and when you get there, how do you actually connect with them?
I read the books and took the courses about networking and small talk and all of that sort of thing. NONE of them worked for me. They weren’t designed for introverts, they were made for “normal” people, not people like us.

I was very depressed but I didn’t give up. I was determined to find a way. Using the superpower of introverts (the power of observation) I started going out in the town by myself. I’d just sit and observe. I’d watch and study social interactions and dynamics between people. Taking what I learned, I put together a system. A blueprint for step by step socializing and networking techniques specifically for us introverts.

I applied it to myself and was able to build a very strong, close, high level, an international network of friends, colleagues, and associates which allows me to be able to do a lot of things most people don’t get to do.

I often get invited to high-end, exclusive events by and with like-minded people that I enjoy being around and who enjoy being around me. And not just big events, small intimate parties, gatherings and experiences that I previously would not have even known existed or would not have been invited to. In addition to that, I get access to investments and opportunities that I would not have been able to have before as well.

So I was able to network a whole new life, a better life, a life where I am known, seen, heard, included and invited. It’s my dream life!

As for what I do now, I teach people (introverts) how to do the same. I train them on how to “level up” their lives through networking. I show them in a simple, step by step way that is specifically designed to work for people like us. If they’ve tried and failed with other methods, they’ll find success here.

Q: Wao! That's very inspiring! I sometimes too think that I am an introvert, especially when I am in a crowded place and dread meaningless chatter that makes me feel really uncomfortable. What techniques or methods do you teach your students about overcoming this feeling?
A: Usually when you feel uncomfortable it’s because you don’t know what to do.  When you know what to do, you can settle in and actually have a good time (and I teach you exactly what to do). 
To combat the meaningless chatter, I would suggest using a technique I call “the magic of 3”.  So for this, you are going to always do your best to not chat with people one on one. You might start off that way but then keep your eye out for anyone standing or walking nearby and invite them to join your conversation through a round of introductions.  With three people, the conversation can flow a lot smoother because there are three points of input and if you should find you are not enjoying the conversation, excuse yourself to get a drink or use the bathroom etc, and the two people will continue talking without you. You are free to go and move on to a different group/conversation! 

Q: You mentioned that your program for introverts is a Step by Step approach; can you tell us a little bit about what you teach in that course and how long it takes to complete?
A: Sure, the course is 8 modules and contains 74 videos. There is no limit on how fast you can complete it, it is wide open so you can move as fast as you want.  Some people have been able to finish it over a weekend and some take a couple of weeks.

A few of the things we teach in the course are: How to motivate yourself to get out of the house and attend events in the first place, how to get invited to events, what events to attend, what to do before the event, body language, mindset, what to do with your hands, a simple way to open conversations, how to connect with a headliner or VIP, networking within the workplace or industry, social networking with ease, as well as what NOT to say and do.  We also cover maintaining and strengthening your relationships.

All of this with the goal of making you confident, relaxed and approachable in whatever social situation you may find yourself in because you’ll know exactly what to do. My students have access to people and opportunities they never had before and it has a HUGE impact on their lives. It’s really amazing to see the transformation and I break down the process in a simple and step by step manner for a smooth transition to get them from where they are now, to Master Networker!

Q: Do you offer personal consultations as well?
A: I do personal consultations on a case by case basis but usually after someone has taken the online course and want to go deeper into some of the techniques. This coming year we will host several workshops where we keep it small and intimate and walk through many different scenarios for more of a hands-on approach for people who learn better in that type of setting.

Q: Wonderful! One last question: how can people reach you?
A: It’s been a pleasure! Your readers can find out more or get in touch with me at ConnectedIntrovert.com